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~Amat3il

<- Even Stickmen Need Love
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About Me Member Emotional Poet Amat3ilFemale/Australia Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
Needs Premium Membership Statistics 457 Deviations
3,276 Comments
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Family Portraitbirth certificates and family portraits remind me of those days when we all stayed inside because the clouds were crying and the ground was bleeding and mother's petunias were drooping in the cold grey light peering through the clouds and fathers joints were creaking in the chill and the roses on grandmothers grave were nothing more than a pile of muddy, wind-torn stems half-hidden beneath washed out cards and ribbons   
school newsletters and ink-stained fingers remind me of days when I could see the sun in the sky and feel it on my face, when the windows were open and the smell of jam and honey wafted through the house as mother b Family Portrait
by ~Amat3il
I'm Not Crazymy doctor tells me its all in my head. the noises aren't real and the tap-tap-tapping isn't there each morning. but I hear it. every time I rest my head on that pillow, I hear it.  [I checked for a watch beneath my pillow, I even checked to see if there was a clock hidden away in the boxes heaped under my bed, but no watch and no clock, just noises]   
the next time I go I tell my doctor I want to cry like the rain and storm like the clouds. he prescribes antidepressants and sends me home to sleep until they take effect.  [I wash the pills down the sink because I want to be real, I want to be a human, I want to feel and th I'm Not Crazy
by ~Amat3il
The Smaller You Are...Clouds cry and stars  fly,  So much higher than I ever will,  Though I try,  Each time I spread my arms,  Time and gravity and reality thread and  
join,  Merging into a net over my head,  Pinning me to earth,  Just in time to stop me from reaching the stars and  clouds The Smaller You Are...
by ~Amat3il
Of Mice and :Wo:MenI took the measuring cup from the drawer,  slipped on some shoes and went to find the mouse,  held, pinned, in the clutches of an eagle  to measure the hope in its heart,  but found none there,  
just pain and a knowledge of the truth  (reality) of its situation and I realised,  that I'm just like the mouse. Of Mice and :Wo:Men
by ~Amat3il
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Mon Feb 1, 2010, 10:53 PM
Been back at school for a few days now. Not much has changed, most people still wont talk to me, you know, the usual. Not really bothering me though, beyond caring if they talk to me or not. This last year, then I am out of there forever.

Few upsides I suppose, I like all of my classes. They are: Classical Studies, Womens Studies, Child Studies and Sose. Teachers are alright too. Another upside, I have at least one to two friends in each class, excpet for Child Studies, so I'm not entirely on my own.
I'm reading the Odyssey for Classics, making a book for Childs, watching and then writing a response to a film for both Womens and Sose. Its all going well so far.

There is one thing thats bothering me however, after Classics today Dale approached me, apparently to make amends. I'm wary of his reasoning. I don't know if it's a product of what he really feels, or if its just some plot to screw me around again. I was so angry at him for approaching me after so long that I was almost in tears. I don't know whether to drop him like he dropped the rest of us, or to take him up on his offer of friendship. Either way, it wont be a decision I'll make quickly. I'm tired of being screwed over.

I'm really tired, its only half five though...My shoulders really hurt too. Might see if I can spend some time writing something.

Ciao.

5 Comments | Previous Journal Entries
  • Mood: Confused
  • Listening to: News. Sisters. Father. General Yelling.

deviantID

There are Angels and then there are Demons, sometimes the demons are in my head, sometimes they're on the paper infront of me, sometmes they're in your eyes. Sometimes the Angels come out and dance, not for long, but they do dance. I like the Angels better.

Devious Info

  • Print preference: Black and White
  • Operating System: Vista
  • Wallpaper of choice: I like paint

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Comments


:iconleiivarius:
*Leiivarius 3 days 14 hours ago
My book is being published.
:iconrainbowheartplz1::iconrainbowheartplz2::iconrainbowheartplz3:
For more information, please visit this journal:
[link]

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#Fans-Of-Leiivarius
:iconstuff7:
~stuff7 4 days 6 hours ago
thankyou.:heart:

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hello world.
[iloveyou.]

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i like randomly
putting haikus where no one
will notice them, yes.
:eager::eager::eager:
:iconjewelofthedarkness:
~JewelOfTheDarkness Feb 1, 2010, 3:36:37 PM
you actually sound alot like me, strange that, anyways, you're a really good poet no matter what you think of yourself.
:iconamat3il:
~Amat3il Feb 1, 2010, 10:21:10 PM
Thankyou

--
Listen close as the rain falls down to the ground

It's true, we are
we are destined to fail
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